Leading While Becoming
Why transitions make the CEO.
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Lisbon smells like ocean and new beginnings.
It is very quiet in my new apartment. I’ve started drinking tea again, surrounded by suitcases and boxes I haven’t unpacked. My back is still healing from the dragon tattoo I finally got. It's full of fire and softness, strength and surrender—like everything in my life right now.
I’ve moved countries, restructured my life, and reconnected with my family after years apart. It’s not just transition—it’s full metamorphosis.
And yet, I’m still a CEO.
This tension—between building a business and rebuilding a self—is something we don’t talk about enough.
Most leadership advice assumes you’re stable, whole, resolved. But what if you’re not? What if you’re still becoming?
New here? Don’t miss what’s next, I’ve only started!
The CEO in Transition
When you’re navigating a personal transition—be it grief, relocation, identity shifts, or even joy—it doesn't pause the business. Leadership doesn’t wait until you’re ready. And this is where it gets hard.
The emotional experience of leadership has long been underplayed. Many leaders struggle with burnout and isolation not because they lack strategy, but because they lack support. We keep the mask on—especially first-time CEOs—until it’s fused to our face.
But I’ve learned (the hard way) that real leadership includes your humanity. Not as a flaw in the system, but as part of the architecture.
Leading and Becoming
In a Harvard Business Review podcast, Whole Foods CEO Jason Buechel talked about leadership succession and authenticity. His calm, grounded tone struck me—not because he had all the answers, but because he was honest about not having them all. He spoke about staying connected to the mission while still figuring himself out. It reminded me of what I’ve started calling “humble authority”: the ability to lead clearly while still evolving personally.
Forbes described leadership transitions as difficult but navigable—with the right mindset. That mindset isn’t confidence. It’s curiosity. Leaders who succeed in transition don’t pretend they’re done growing. They invite the team to grow with them.
The most transformative leaders I’ve met this year are the ones who admit:
“I’m not the same person I was when I founded this company. And that’s a good thing.”
How to Lead While Becoming
Here are 7 practical strategies for leading while becoming for you:
🧭 1. Narrate the Journey, Don’t Hide It
Instead of pretending nothing is shifting, name the transition without oversharing.
Example: “We’re evolving as a company — and I’m evolving as a leader too. That means we’ll be asking better questions, not just giving quick answers.”
👉 Why it works: It builds trust through transparency without undermining your authority.
⚖️ 2. Anchor in the Mission, Flex the Method
When your identity feels fluid, anchor in something stable — your mission, values, or vision. Let that be the lighthouse while you adjust your leadership style, team setup, or role definition.
👉 Practice: Revisit your company’s “why” and share it with your team regularly.
🪞 3. Create Inner Check-In Rituals
Transition blurs your thinking. Create a daily 5–10 minute ritual to ask:
What do I need today as a person?
What does my team need from me as a leader?
What can I delegate or let go of?
👉 Why it matters: Leadership clarity starts with self-awareness.
🧠 4. Normalize Learning Out Loud
Say things like:
“I’m learning how to navigate this in real time.”
“I don’t have all the answers, but here’s where we’re headed.”
It’s humble and powerful.
👉 Why it works: It invites your team into a co-creative process and builds psychological safety.
🧑🤝🧑 5. Designate a “Transition Ally”
Whether it’s a coach, advisor, or trusted colleague, have someone you can debrief and reflect with weekly. This gives you a safe place to metabolize personal growth without burdening the team.
👉 Bonus tip: Pay them if you can. Emotional labor deserves value.
🛠 6. Build Flex into Structure
During big changes, don’t overcommit to rigid long-term goals. Instead:
Use 90-day OKRs
Prioritize decision velocity over perfection
Hold weekly all-hands with open Q&A
👉 Why it helps: It creates adaptive momentum and team confidence while you're still finding your own rhythm.
🌊 7. Lead with Emotional Range, Not Perfection
You don’t need to be a “rock.” You need to be real. That might mean saying, “Today’s a low-energy day, so I’m leaning on you all a bit more.”
👉 Why it matters: Emotional honesty fosters resilience — in you and your team.
What If Becoming Is the Job?
There’s a line in a book called The Transforming Leader by Carol S. Pearson that says:
“Leadership is not a destination or identity. It is a continual crossing.”
That line lives in my bones now.
We talk so much about being “ready” to lead. But readiness is a myth. What we need is the capacity to lead while changing. To cross, and re-cross. To show up on the days we don’t feel like a “real CEO” and lead anyway—with honesty, with questions, with presence.
So if you’re in transition: physically, emotionally, structurally—know this. You’re not alone. And you’re not failing. You’re becoming. That’s the work. That’s the path. That’s the power.
The trees are blooming. Spring doesn’t ask permission. And neither should you.
🎧 In Case You Missed It: Season 1 of The First-Time CEO
Season 1 of The First-Time CEO podcast is over, and I’m getting ready for Season 2, writing a book, and working on private VIP community for emerging leaders. Explore what’s coming next and how you can join a waitlist to become one of The First-Time CEO Founding Members (only 50 will be available!). Meanwhile, watch my ten candid conversations with first-time CEOs, creatives, and change-makers on what it really takes to lead.
I started with an intro episode featuring Obie Fernandez, my co-founder at Olympia. And here’s the Season 1 from start to finale:
From Layoff to Closing $750K in 15 Months as a First-Time CEO – with Julia Arpag
From Accidental Marketing Agency to Lead Generating Machine – with Marco Mendoza
How to Build the First-Class Community and Personal Brand – with Marion Siboni
Redefining Creative Recruitment as a Solopreneur – with Jessie Collier
Building a Female Movement in Fintech – with Nicole Casperson
Turning Grief Into a Global Tech Mission – with Iryna Savytska
From Billion-Dollar Boardrooms to Human Design – with Jacques Anderson
Tune in also on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
📚 #GoldenFindings
If you're navigating a transition, these resources have provided valuable insights and support:
Lean on me: why leaders need more support – Financial Times
Explores the often-overlooked emotional challenges of leadership, emphasizing the importance of coaching and peer support in preventing burnout and fostering effective leadership.How to Get Leadership Succession Right – Harvard Business Review Podcast
Offers practical strategies for navigating leadership transitions, highlighting the significance of authenticity and mission alignment during succession planning.Leadership Transitions Are Difficult — But It’s Possible to Get Them Right – Forbes Business Council
Provides actionable advice on managing the complexities of leadership changes, focusing on mindset shifts and effective communication to ensure smooth transitions.The Transforming Leader: New Approaches to Leadership for the 21st Century – Book
A compilation of essays that delve into leadership as a dynamic and evolving process, offering insights from various experts on adapting to the demands of modern leadership.
🌱 #CEOCheck
Here’s a question for you for self-reflection:
When was the last time you let your team see you becoming?
Until next Sunday,
Victoria
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