Let Them. Let Me.
The theory of...everything?
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This sunny morning, at my favorite teacher’s yoga retreat, I was sitting on a bench, facing the rich forest and breathing fully, surrounded by lush, sweet-smelling nature, thinking about how difficult it is to let go. Well, it’s been difficult for me—but I know it’s hard for many.
Amidst the eternal movement and chaos of doing, becoming, creating, leading, winning, failing, learning, transitioning, willing, denying, chasing, holding on, and trying to control... sometimes, it’s time to stop fighting with life and people and let it all flow in its own direction.
As humans (and first-time CEOs), we have a tendency to control everything—because of fear of losing. Losing power, ourselves, or a path to the goals we mapped out.
But what can we control, really?
(Almost) nothing.
Yesterday, while listening to Jillian Turecki’s podcast with Mel Robbins explaining the simple theory of letting go, something shifted in me. And I repeated after her:
LET THEM.
Stop for a second, take a breath, and let that employee argue with you (yeah, I know you’re the boss); business partners change their minds; clients trash-mouth your product; competitors steal its features; people be late to meetings; family business be messy; friends disappear on you; partner leave.
Sometimes, it hurts like hell only because you're holding onto it. Because you bump into other people’s desire to control (too). It brings only friction.
So let them.
Let them do what they want. Let them be who they are. Let them go.
That’s their side of the equation. Their behavior is your data.
LET ME.
You decide what you want to do with that data.
See how people treat you—and believe them. And then decide how you want to respond, and whether you want to keep living, working, collaborating, being friends with them.
Let yourself be too, and say: “Now, let me.”
Make mistakes and learn from them. Feel everything. Lead from peace. Or be angry and say the brutal truth.
This is the quiet boundary that shifts everything.
You stop grasping. You stop over-explaining.
You stop trying to be understood by those who are not trying to understand you.
And you stop being anxious or pissed about every little thing.
Now, let’s get deeper into this from the CEO perspective, shall we?
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Let Them, Let Me: The CEO Perspective
Letting go at work doesn’t mean letting things fall apart.
It means shifting from control to clarity. From micromanagement to trust. From over-functioning to strategic detachment.
Here’s how “Let Them, Let Me” shows up at work—and how to actually practice it as a CEO.
1. Let them disagree. Let me stay grounded.
Healthy disagreement is a sign of a functional team—not a broken one. Research by Google’s Project Aristotle found that the highest-performing teams have psychological safety, where members feel safe to take risks and voice dissent.
So when a teammate challenges your idea? Let them.
It means they care enough to think critically.
Your job: breathe, listen, and don’t make it personal.
Then say: “Let me hear that fully before I respond.”
That small pause? It’s leadership.
2. Let them underperform. Let me investigate.
Every CEO faces this moment: someone on your team isn’t hitting the mark. The knee-jerk reaction? Fix them. Push harder. Hover. (Or worse—avoid.)
But data from Gallup shows that 70% of performance issues are tied to unclear expectations, poor communication, or lack of role alignment.
So instead of clamping down, let them show you what’s broken.
Then say: “Let me understand the full picture. What’s missing? What’s misaligned? What support isn’t there?”
Curiosity over control leads to lasting results.
3. Let them leave. Let me lead the transition.
People will move on. Talented employees will get offers. Co-founders may grow in different directions. Clients may churn. Investors may pull back.
As painful as it is, retention is not control—it’s culture.
McKinsey’s 2022 report on the Great Attrition shows that people don’t leave jobs; they leave feeling undervalued, unheard, or trapped.
So when someone decides to go?
Let them—with respect.
Then say: “Let me focus on the people who choose to stay. Let me make this transition graceful. Let me learn from this.”
You’ll earn trust, even in goodbye.
4. Let them take space. Let me set clear expectations.
You’re not their therapist, savior, or shadow. One of the quietest CEO mistakes is over-owning someone else’s growth.
Let your team self-manage. Let your co-founder pull back. Let your ops person experiment and fail.
Then say:
“Let me know if you need support.”
“Let me be clear about what outcomes we need.”
“Let me adjust the timeline, but not the standards.”
Freedom with clarity is leadership.
5. Let them misunderstand me. Let me say it better.
Sometimes, no matter how many Slack messages, team calls, or 1:1s you run, people still don’t get it.
That’s okay. You don’t need to control their perception—you need to take responsibility for your communication.
Ask:
“Did I explain this in a way that lands?”
“Is this emotionally safe to ask about?”
“How else could I frame this for clarity?”
Then say: “Let me try a different way.”
According to Harvard Business Review, leaders who over-communicate with empathy are perceived as 3x more trustworthy.
Bottom line?
Let them act. Let them choose. Let them leave, stay, resist, challenge, love, or forget.
Then lead yourself. That’s the Let Me.
Let me choose how to respond.
Let me choose what to protect.
Let me choose how to show up with calm, clarity, and leadership.
And if you need a mantra in the hard moments?
"Let them do what they do.
Let me become who I’m here to be."
#GoldenFindings
Here are a few gems to explore further:
📖 Mel Robbins – The Let Them Theory
The foundational idea behind this week’s topic. Simple, liberating, and wildly relevant—especially if you're leading humans.
Explore the book »🧘 Tara Brach – The Power of Letting Go
A deeply insightful talk that merges psychology and mindfulness to explain why letting go is a strength, not a weakness.
Watch on YouTube »🧠 Daniel Goleman – What Makes a Leader?
The classic Harvard Business Review article that introduced emotional intelligence as core to leadership—not control.
Read on HBR »📘 William Ury – The Power of a Positive No
For CEOs who struggle with saying no clearly and kindly—this book shows how to protect your boundaries without burning bridges.
Check it out »
#CEOCheck
Where in your life—or leadership—do you need to say,
“Let them... and now, let me”?
Hit reply and tell me all about it!
Until next Sunday,
Victoria
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